This Past Winter

The temperature outside is a wonderful 60 degrees. Birds are singing outside my window. We've even had a couple of thunderstorms. Spring is here. There might be a little bit more snow here or there before things settle in, but it is SO nice.

Winters are usually a hard challenge for me. Cold descends and depression hits. This winter wasn't as bad. I'm not sure what made it easier. I'm sure the milder weather didn't hurt, because cold spells were interspersed between periods of weather in the 40's, which felt like 70, comparatively. The air was invigorating.

One other thing that I did as well, I supplemented with amino acid precursors. After studying how drugs work in the brain, I also ended up reading a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross, MA. The author stated that what antidepressants do (and other mood altering drugs), is that either they force the neurons to make a neurotransmitter that they may not really have the building blocks for and therefore strain the system, or prevent the reabsorption or "reuptake" of certain neurotransmitters. Having these present helps the brain to function, and helps to reglate mood.

Neurotransmitters are made from amino acids. According to Ross, the difference between treating inattention, depression, non-incident related anger, anxiety, and other problems is that the brain doesn't have enough of the amino acids to build off of. Antidepressants, caffeine, antianxiety drugs sometimes stop working because they continue to deplete the resources that are never quite built up.

So I decided to try her recommendations to see if they made a difference. The nice thing is, amino acid precursors are relatively easy to find, and not expensive. They often have "L-" in front of their names, because that indicates that they are a precursor. If you take an amino acid, it will not cross the blood-brain barrier, but the body can take the precursor- the building blocks of an amino acid, and use them to make them. The other nice thing is, according to Ross, is that they build up the body's supply. When you are resupplied, you don't need to take them anymore.

One of the ones I tried was L-Tyrosine. It is supposed to make you more alert, but generally not jittery. She has steps for determining the proper dose, so if you ever look into this more, please read her book.

This was recommended for lethargy, which is a big part of SAD. There was a side effect that I hadn't planned on. It made me jittery when I drank caffeine. I wasn't jittery normally, and caffeine normally doesn't make me jittery. I can drink it right before I sleep. It actually relaxes me. I didn't like that. Within a few days of starting the L-Tyrosine, I had NO DESIRE for caffeine. It wasn't that I was making a huge effort to get off of it. I just didn't want it. I did go through the headache and flu-like symptoms when I stopped, but got past that, and it was gone.

I stopped taking L-Tyrosine a couple of months ago; by the New Year. I just kind of stopped, which is what she said might happen if you had enough. I don't really crave caffeine at all now. I have an iced tea now and again, but it doesn't taste as good because the craving isn't making it taste as good.

My moods have been much more stable this Winter. I tend toward anger when I'm depressed. But mood-wise, it has been a very calm Winter as well. No rages, no sullenness. A few bouts of depression for a day here or there, but nothing that was really hard. I don't know for sure, but I think the caffeine was probably responsible for the mood swings as well. I know that it is responsible for a good portion of my touch sensitivity, because it comes back when I have one.

It's been nice to enjoy my kids and my husband this past Winter. I'm still REALLY glad that Spring is here.

Don't Know Much

I haven't blogged much lately, if you haven't noticed. Winter is really kicking me in the gut this year. I actually started feeling it by September. Work has been some of my sanity because it gets me out driving in the sunlight for a couple of hours at a time, but that has slowed down. I have lots of opinions about things, but don't seem to be able to put them in to words. I have been skipping out on things that I normally do because I can't seem to deal with people (I mean, worse than I normally deal with them) or I don't feel good, but I can't tell if I am fighting a cold, or if I have a stuffy nose AND am just emotionally worn down.

Yep....my friend is back. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I had it when I lived in Utah, but it was pretty much absent in California and Arizona, and it has gotten worse each year here, probably just because I know it is coming and I dread it.

When I went to Hawaii last December, the change that I felt in just a couple of days was amazing. I felt more myself than I had in months, I all of a sudden felt like I could think, I felt happy. I haven't felt happy in December in five years, except for then. I really didn't realize how bad it was until then, and now I am really aware that I'm being pushed back into the cave every time the days start getting shorter.

I went to the doctor a few years ago, after we moved here, but Maggie was still nursing and I don't do anything to keep from getting pregnant, so I really didn't want a chemical answer. Diet has helped -- staying away from sugars and starches, but the carb cravings that come along with this are really hard to fight. So, I'm getting a therapy light. Now that they don't cost thousands of dollars (though Concordia Plan still won't cover it), I'm going to manage it.

Maybe it will help my blogging...since I am going to have to sit for a couple of hours...I might actually knit, I might actually blog, I might actually read something besides Harry Potter or Pride and Prejudice -- both for the 20th time - because I've read them so many times I don't have to really think about them.