At times, as a pastor's wife, it can seem like the congregation is against you. Often, this is not the case, but it can seem it. It can seem like people are unfairly criticizing your kids, assaulting your husband, judging your life...the list goes on and on.
Sometimes it is the case. So what do you do? Often, you can't fight back. It only makes it worse, makes your husband look bad, and is often sinning.
In either case, you love them.
It's hard to do. It really is hard to do, and I know there are times that my soul fights against it. So I pray....in the end, that is the final solution. I pray. I pray that God changes my heart so that I can love my husband's flock, and those with whom I am part of the Body of Christ. I pray that he makes the situation better and that He brings peace when there is a situation. I pray for strength.
But most of all, I pray for them. Each and every one of them as many as I can. I've found that in both congregations that my husband has served, my heart and the situations have changed drastically when I remember to do this.
One thing I love about how we do Communion, is that everyone goes up to the Communion rail, it fills up, and then everyone kneels and takes Communion. Then, the next table goes up. We don't do it "assembly line style" or pass the elements down the pews. So as everyone goes up and kneels before the altar, I pray for them. If I know something about their life situation, I pray for that, if I don't, I pray that God blesses them. If they are one of the ones whom I find difficult, I pray about that and pray that God heals the situation and eases their pain. If I don't remember their names, I pray for them anyway. If I see them kneel as if they ache, I pray for their health. If they are widowed, I pray that they are not lonely. etc.
In my own heart, my anxiety softens. Over time, and really not too long a time, I've seen things become better, or at very least, easier. Even if it doesn't seem like the other person's relationship toward me improves (and often it does), my heart has more peace.
It helps, it really does.