I haven't blogged much lately, if you haven't noticed. Winter is really kicking me in the gut this year. I actually started feeling it by September. Work has been some of my sanity because it gets me out driving in the sunlight for a couple of hours at a time, but that has slowed down. I have lots of opinions about things, but don't seem to be able to put them in to words. I have been skipping out on things that I normally do because I can't seem to deal with people (I mean, worse than I normally deal with them) or I don't feel good, but I can't tell if I am fighting a cold, or if I have a stuffy nose AND am just emotionally worn down.
Yep....my friend is back. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I had it when I lived in Utah, but it was pretty much absent in California and Arizona, and it has gotten worse each year here, probably just because I know it is coming and I dread it.
When I went to Hawaii last December, the change that I felt in just a couple of days was amazing. I felt more myself than I had in months, I all of a sudden felt like I could think, I felt happy. I haven't felt happy in December in five years, except for then. I really didn't realize how bad it was until then, and now I am really aware that I'm being pushed back into the cave every time the days start getting shorter.
I went to the doctor a few years ago, after we moved here, but Maggie was still nursing and I don't do anything to keep from getting pregnant, so I really didn't want a chemical answer. Diet has helped -- staying away from sugars and starches, but the carb cravings that come along with this are really hard to fight. So, I'm getting a therapy light. Now that they don't cost thousands of dollars (though Concordia Plan still won't cover it), I'm going to manage it.
Maybe it will help my blogging...since I am going to have to sit for a couple of hours...I might actually knit, I might actually blog, I might actually read something besides Harry Potter or Pride and Prejudice -- both for the 20th time - because I've read them so many times I don't have to really think about them.