Monday, November 22, 2010

Regrets

I took some dorky Facebook personality test a month or so ago, and it said that I make decisions based on trying to avoid regret. I had a friend respond that he thought nothing could be far from the truth. That amused me, because I was absolutely astonished --because I've never seen some off the wall statement like that have me pegged so well. And I don't think its a bad thing. It helps me put things into perspective.

Generally, I'm not talking "afraid of regrets," because often, no matter which decision is made, there are regrets. It doesn't do to be afraid of them, though I think that it is natural.

For instance -- my husband and I really had quite a rocky engagement. But through it, I consciously knew that guys like him were few and far between. And deep down, I knew that I was far more likely to regret sending him packing than I was to expend the effort to work our way through the problems.

As I expressed in my previous post, I get pretty torn up sometimes about being the homeschooling housewife. It wasn't what I planned. It isn't where my gifts are. But in the end, every time I looked at going to work with small children, and then what our educational alternatives are, I've come to the conclusion that my regret would be greater if I didn't stay with my children. What they would lose is greater than what I would gain.

Sometimes this philosophy has led me to embrace big changes. Other times, it has preserved the status quo. I can't say that my emotions are always in agreement...or that regret doesn't still rear its head, or that I don't get wistful for the things that I wanted, rather than what was more wise.

And yes...emotionally I'm doing better.

2 comments:

Elephantschild said...

Wait.

Is it bad to make decisions that way? Because that's what I do, when push comes to shove. "Which will I regret more ten years from now?"

The Rebellious Pastor's Wife said...

No, I don't think it is necessarily a bad way of doing things. That's what I was kind of trying to say.