"Early communion seems to be a taboo among us Lutherans."
Early communion is not as taboo as you would think, Emily. The LSB Agenda has a rite in it for bringing children to first communion BEFORE confirmation classes. It says that it was included because 25% of congregations polled were doing so. There also are a lot more pastors discussing this amongst themselves, on the blogosphere, and thinking about it in their own heads, than you can imagine. From experience and discussion, most of these are not liberal pastors, they are the most confessional, who are looking at our children, their ability, what the confessions say about when they should go to communion, and what our tradition was before the Enlightenment. I wrote about this in my post "True and Worthy Communicants"...with lots of references from The Book of Concord.
"I often stumble in faith like a blithering idiot and so I would much better trust the pastor who is ordained by God to speak His words and consecrate His sacraments as the one to instruct my children (and myself)."
Me too. I also often don't express myself well when dealing with those professionals I talked about in the previous post. But I get the job done.
I am not saying that the pastor is one of those guys who seek to tell you what is best for you and tries to circumvent your knowledge and instinct. Generally, confessional pastors have a really healthy view of trying to feed their flock so that their faiths are strengthened and that they have a rich understanding of their theology and heritage so that they can pass this on to their children and learn to rely on God's grace in their daily lives.
I am not saying that we should isolate ourselves or our children from the teaching in the congregation, nor am I saying confirmation is bad. What I am saying is that the primary role in bringing up our children in the faith belongs to the parents, who are guided by Scripture and their church. The pastor and the congregation do have a role in educating ALL of us, but DAILY prayers, Bible Stories, and catechesis can be done from birth on (A very simple way to do this is through Martin Luther's Morning and Evening Prayers and for asking a blessing at meals..to start off with). When a child is taught whether something is right or wrong, Biblical teachings can be brought in (when I was discussing the Jesus Tomb thing last week with my son, my 4 year old said "sounds like they are bearing false witness), when they do something wrong, helping them ask each other for forgiveness, granting forgiveness, and emphasizing Christ's forgiveness for all of us can be done...discussing controversial issues or evils in the world and explaining God's command and even mocking the foolishness of the worldly perspective (as Chrysostom points out) - not in a sermonish way, but in a simple way. Giving thanks for God's gifts, etc. When this is done, children often are ready and desirous to receive Holy Communion well before the non-Bibical age of fourteen.
As Deuteronomy 6 says: "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down,and when you rise."
This is what is important, that our faith is woven through and guides our daily family life, because if it is a once a week activity, and if it is not shown to be of utmost importance to the parents, then you can have all the once a week classes that you want, but they are not being truly "raised in the faith" and you are fighting against messages that they get the other 6 days of the week.
Look at what the Small Catechism says at the very beginning "For the Head of the Household to teach his family." It is not Lutheran to leave this completely to the church. For a deeper explanation of this, see Luther's Short Introduction to the Large Catechism. Luther knew and wrote the Catechism in order that families would raise their children in the faith on a daily basis. He clearly expresses this. Confirmation should not be the first time your kids see the Small Catechism, and many pastors bemoan that the confirmation class becomes a time when they are teaching kids the very basics of the faith (the 6 chief parts and what they mean), rather than leading them through the Large Catechism and the Confessions so that they can deepen that faith.
This is done in the context of the church life, not as an exception to it. If you can't do this, pray that God guides you. Because the Bible is really very clear that teaching your children the basics of the faith is not your pastor's job, and at your children's baptisms, you pledged to raise them in the faith. It is the job of the parents. You are the one that interacts with your children on a daily basis. The pastor gets once a week, and often very little before 7th and 8th grade. You are the one who knows your children and knows what they need, the best way to teach them, etc. You love them more than the pastor does. God meant for you to have that role. It is repeated over and over again in the Scriptures.
Know that you have the Holy Spirit blessing it, too. When you are being fed with God's Word and partaking of the Sacraments, your faith is being fed and strengthened to perform the vocations God gave you. If God gave stumbling, stuttering Moses the ability to confront Pharoah and lead His people for 40 years, then He can surely help you raise your children in the faith....in the full context of being part of the Body of Christ. And very few pastors would tell you otherwise.