Not long after returning to school, I was sitting in church again, and Pastor Dave was preaching on Colossians 2:11-14
In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ. buried with Him in baptism in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.
Now, the pastor went through the nature of circumcision and how this text compared it to baptism, and he was doing a really good job. But there came a point where he lost me...and I mean he LOST me.
Because he said "and this is why infants should not be baptized."
All of a sudden, it all clicked. The connection was made in my brain that if baptism is how we are brought into the new covenant, and circumcision is how we were brought into the old, then baptizing babies was no more wrong than circumcising them on the eighth day. Those babies did not choose to be part of the Old Testament covenant either, yet it was commanded by God. (So yes, it was a Baptist pastor who convinced me that infant baptism was a good thing, though I don't know that he'd be proud of that)
A few days after it occurred to me that the pastor was waiting for me to come forward for an altar call, it also occurred to me that this particular sermon was directed right at me to push forward my desire to be baptized(I was born blonde...sometimes it takes me a while, just like it rarely occurred to me that a guy liked me until he was planting one on my pucker. And like I said before, there really was no one else in the congregation that this was an issue for...but I just figured it was regular teaching).
I am not laughing at the pastor. He was a good man, and he was taking his calling as a pastor and I believe he was legitimately concerned for my salvation. He knew I had faith, but he took seriously their doctrine that getting baptized was a matter of obedience to God's commands, and not having the desire to do so may indicate that I am not saved. A part of me wishes that he could see that maybe that lack of motivation was fruit from the fact that I already was baptized, but I do respect him for taking my spiritual well-being seriously.
That sermon also showed me that I was clearly in the wrong place. I'd already wanted to find out if I could "handle" being Lutheran again, since I was in a long-distance relationship with a seminarian who was clearly the marrying kind. But this was the kick in the pants that I needed, so it was time to go see if I could find in Lutheranism what my (then) boyfriend found there.
I'm thankful for Pastor Dave, he was a good man, and he was good to me. That congregation will always have a special place in my heart (his wife also taught me that you don't have to be rosy, sweet, well-organized, and completely feminine to be a pastor's wife). Pastor Dave left shortly after I did, and I appreciate all he did for me, and there is simply a part of me that is thankful that he kept me busy until I found where I really needed to be, the same way I am thankful for my husband's ex-girlfriend who kept him busy for four years before we met. I am truly where God meant me to be.