Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Pastor's Heart

Pastor Rick Stuckwisch has an excellent post talking about how hard it is when the people that he pastors make assumptions about him and fail to do the Christian thing, to talk with him about things that are bothering them that he might or might not have done.

As a pastor's wife, I've experienced that, but as much as that bothers me, I can vouch for the fact that it hurts more to see when it happens to my husband, knowing how much he really cares for his flock, how much he wants peace and to help, and prays daily for the welfare of his flock. What hurts the most is when a person or a family leaves in such a way that he has no idea why, and treats the relationship that they have like it is nothing. - when he has baptized and catechized their children, held their hands and prayed with them through crisis or even death.

It isn't pleasant to go to someone and say "what you did/said offended me," or "I don't like this." Christ makes it clear that we are supposed to do this -- we are to go to the person with whom we have a problem. We're not supposed to talk to others about it. That only hurts the person more, and also may bring the other person (people) into your problem. If you are complaining to another person - not with the one you have the problem, its gossip, and it is hurtful. You have no idea how much.


Dakotapam said...

Yes, I think it hurts the wife more, it really does. Probably because of our mama bear sensibilities.

Jane said...

It's even hard for other members of the congregation when someone leaves like this, especially when it's someone you know fairly well. I can't imagine how hard it is for the pastor.

Elephantschild said...

This happens to Choir directors and their wives, too, on a smaller scale.

We've had a few leave our choir without talking to my husband. We've had a few that have talked to everyone BUT my husband... :(

Joy said...

Amen, and Amen. I think people underestimate how dearly a pastor can love his flock. It's not a "job" or a "career". When my husband announced he was declining a call, he bawled in front of the congregation, saying that he loved them as a father loves his children. I think about the parishioners I'd really rather do without, and I know he MUST love them--more than I ever will.

Kathy Butryn said...

A great reminder to all of be obedient to the way Christ wants us to handle our conflicts. Thanks for sharing...I can relate!