St. Mary Magdalene's Day

In many ways, I am glad that the last meme I answered was "what were you doing ten years ago," not six years ago. But I'll tell you anyway.

Six years ago minus one day (the Sunday before the Feast of Mary Magdalene), I was standing at a font, holding my baby daughter as I could hear in my husband's voice that he was restraining tears of relief and joy as he poured the water over her head and baptized her in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The way that his voice broke revealed six years of pain culminating in that little baby in our arms. Three miscarriages, three years of infertility, working toward adoption, and 42 weeks where every day it was in the back of our minds that her heartbeat could stop at any time, just like it did with Noah's. We'd already almost lost her 6 weeks into the pregnancy. And then there was the time the doctor couldn't find her heartbeat, and Jeff waited two hours not knowing what I was dealing with as I watched her kick and dance on the ultrasound.

Despite all our efforts for a vaginal birth after a c-section, we ended up with another c-section, but she was healthy and beautiful.

And then she was baptized. Then we could relax. The first birth was important. This was the most important. She was a child of God now, made one in the death and resurrection of Christ. Every moment of my pregnancy was a reminder that I was almost powerless to keep her safe, and that I still am. But she is in God's hands.

Today, the Sunday before the Feast of Mary Magdalene, my daughter Magdalena was welcomed to the Table. I was able to commune with her for the first time. I could hear her confess her faith publicly as I often have privately. I could take comfort that she is being strengthened by the Body and Blood of Christ, as she is fully capable of believing, and that she understands probably better than me. She doesn't have all the Science classes discussing the nature of matter or discussions with Baptists swimming around in her head like I do. She receives it in faith, the faith of a child that trusts that God is giving her forgiveness of sins, and knowing that she is sinful, she has talked about it and yearned for it for quite a while now.

Thank you dear Lord for Maggie being able to receive the most precious gift of your Body and Blood. For forgiveness of sins. For the comfort and strength that it brings to her faith, because it will always be weaker than it should be in this life. And for the comfort and strength that it brings to mine, being able to see her partake and be reminded that she is not only my daughter, but my Christian sister as well. (picture posted tomorrow)